On Loneliness and Aging: What to Do?
Explorer "Recipe". And: Is there a role for technology in overcoming loneliness?
A recurring theme of our work is a search for ways technology can help overcome or minimize the impact of various “challenges of aging” on quality of life.
After prior posts exploring early warning and prevention of falls and cognition issues, this month we turn to a third big topic: loneliness as we age.
Introduction & Summary
Social Isolation and Loneliness have attracted lots of media attention recently due to the large negative impact that being lonely and lacking human interactions can have on quality of life. And this is seen as being especially problematic for older adults, although it is also prevalent among younger demographics.
As an illustration of this phenomenon: when we surveyed a cohort of older adults from around the country, roughly one in three said they “would really, really like some new friends or to meet new people with common interests to me“.
Over the years the Longevity Explorer community has spent a lot of time digging into this topic. (You can see much of what we have learned here).
Among other key points (see this seminar for much more detail):
while many older adults end up in situations where their friends and family group shrinks or becomes harder to access, different types of people handle this “issue” very differently depending on their personality type, and so this is much more of a problem for some types of people than for other types of people.
The Longevity Explorers and ChatGPT both have ideas what to do if you suffer from loneliness. Think of these as “formulas for avoiding loneliness”. Read on to learn what these formulas are.
Technology can potentially help in many ways including:
removing transport and mobility barriers to getting out and interacting;
helping to find new people that share your interests;
making “interacting at a distance” easier;
enabling new types of virtual connection with people;
creating a new class of entity with which to bond and interact — whether it be a robot pet, or an AI (and yes, we know this idea is not for everyone). :)
Disclaimer: We have no financial relationship with any of the companies we mention in this post, and get no financial benefit of any sort from writing it, other than from those of you who subscribe to Tech-enhanced Life’s Newsletter on Substack.
Seminar Deep-Dive on Loneliness Explorations
In 2022, Dr. Caro gave a seminar synthesizing what the Longevity Explorer community has discussed and learned about this topic. It goes into quite a bit more detail about some of the points mentioned above than we can do here. You can access the video recording below (it’s free).
Explorer Recipe for Overcoming Loneliness
Here is a formula for avoiding loneliness from a group discussion by the Longevity Explorers (ie actual humans):
You do need to be interested in something. It doesn’t much matter what, but this formula only works if you are interested in something. It could be cooking, or model trains, or nuclear physics, or singing. The details don’t matter, so long as you are interested in it.
Find a group that meets regularly to interact about that “interest”. It could be a club or a Meetup. It can be face to face, which is ideal. But if that is hard, it can be a virtual group that interacts online or in a virtual world.
Start attending regularly. You should find the meetings are interesting, as they will be about the topic you are interested in.
Important tip: Look for a group that interacts about the topic. Not a group that just has some expert lecturing to an audience, unless there is also some interaction. If you are just sitting and listening, it still might be interesting, but it is not part of this loneliness formula.
When you are there, add your opinions and comments. Even if you are shy, look for opportunities to contribute. It’s your topic after all, so don’t hold back.
Keep going. After a while (months, maybe a year or two) you will find you suddenly “know” quite a few of the other people who attend. Maybe they are not yet “friends”, but certainly “acquaintances” with whom you share common interests.
Look for ways to take a more active role, maybe helping to organize. You will just get to know people better and better that way.
According to our explorers, this has worked for many of them. Let us know what you think about this approach.
What ChatGPT has to Say.
We now have a new source of easy reference on topics like this: the AI (artificial intelligence) called ChatGPT.
Here is what ChatGPT (a conversational AI) has to say about becoming less lonely:
You
How can i become less lonely?
ChatGPT
Feeling less lonely often involves a combination of social connection, self-reflection, and sometimes professional help. Here are some strategies that might help:
Reach Out to Others: Try to connect with friends, family, or colleagues. Regular contact, even if it's just a quick message or a phone call, can help reduce feelings of isolation.
Join Groups or Clubs: Look for groups or clubs that align with your interests or hobbies. This can be a great way to meet new people who share your passions. Meetup or local community centers are good places to start.
Volunteer: Volunteering can connect you with others and also provide a sense of purpose and community.
Attend Social Events: Try to participate in social gatherings, even if it’s challenging at first. Sometimes, just being around others can help alleviate feelings of loneliness.
Adopt a Pet: If it's feasible, consider adopting a pet. Animals can provide companionship and unconditional love, which can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness.
Professional Help: If loneliness is persistent and impacting your mental health, talking to a therapist or counselor can be very beneficial. They can provide strategies tailored to your situation.
Develop a Routine: Establishing a daily routine that includes activities you enjoy can provide structure and reduce feelings of emptiness.
Learn New Skills: Taking classes or learning new skills can help you feel more connected to others and boost your self-esteem.
Exercise: Physical activity can improve your mood and health. Joining a gym or a sports group can also provide opportunities to meet people.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices like mindfulness and meditation can help manage feelings of loneliness by improving your mental state and helping you feel more connected to the world around you.
Remember, it's important to be patient with yourself as you explore these options. Building and maintaining connections can take time, but it's a positive step toward feeling less lonely.
How Tech Can Help?
In the seminar on loneliness Dr Caro touches on several ways that technology can impact loneliness.
Examples that are important, and which are available today, include the following (see seminar for more detail on these):
removing transport and mobility barriers to getting out and interacting;
making “interacting at a distance” easier;
enabling new types of virtual connection with people.
The rapid improvement in the capability of AI systems opens up the possibility that tech will soon be able to help in other intriguing ways, as well, see next section.
Can AI help More in the Future?
As AI becomes more powerful, it is intriguing to think about how it might be able to play a greater role in helping address loneliness. For example:
finding the right people: potential friends and or those who share your interests (affinity groups);
creating a new class of entity with which to bond and interact — whether it be a robot pet, or an AI.
Finding the Right People
It’s common to assume that loneliness can be fixed by facilitating any old mingling of people — and often in some type of age-segregated way, like “senior centers”, or “activities for older adults”.
However, we think that often what is needed is meeting the right types of people — people who share your interests — and that often it’s more important that you share overlapping interests rather than common age or other surface characteristics.
To give an example, what if you are passionate about gardening, or some type of music, or the science of earthquakes, or how to grow the perfect truffle. Odds are that some random group of people might not include people whose interests and yours overlap.
But how do you find the right people?
This is where technology and virtual connections have great potential, we think.
There are already lots of tech-enabled ways to meet people. At present they mostly center on dating, but some are now focused on “meeting new friends” (eg Bumble BFF). And there are already sites designed to meet people with whom you share interests (like Meetup).
When we discuss these approaches with Longevity Explorers, there is a general sense they are “promising but not quite right yet for our purposes”.
As AI gets more powerful, we think it’s logical to think it should be able to do a better job of “understanding who you would most like to meet”. Maybe that is an interesting direction for the future?
[If you are working on something like this and want some help, please contact us.]
AI as Companion?
A different, and somewhat controversial, direction is to think of AI as enabling a whole new type of entity — one you can interact with. Can interacting with a synthetic entity help with loneliness?
There are already some intriguing examples of this.
Robotic Pets
There are now robotic pets (like cats and dogs) that can interact a bit with people. They are already finding some success in interactions with people with dementia. As they become more sophisticated, perhaps they will also become a low maintenance pet option for many?
AI Friends
As AI becomes more powerful, can one develop a real bond and interaction with that AI? In other words, can AI become a friend?
This is of course the subject of many science fiction stories. Are we about to see some limited version of this?
As one intriguing example, there are now chatbots designed to be your friend or companion, and people are reported as developing “bonds” with them. An example of this is the company Replika. They describe their bot as “The AI Companion Who Cares”.
Here is what their website says:
Replika was founded by Eugenia Kuyda with the idea to create a personal AI that would help you express and witness yourself by offering a helpful conversation. It’s a space where you can safely share your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, experiences, memories, dreams – your “private perceptual world.”
NOTE: We have not tried out this product and are not endorsing it as yet. In fact we find it a bit “scary”. But as a sign of “the future”, it is fascinating. :)
A good way to learn more about this idea is an interview of the founder (Eugenia Kuyda) by Lex Fridman.
See Lex Fridman interview Replika’s founder (on YouTube).
Please Comment. What Do You Think?
We really want to get some dialogs going about these ideas. Please add any comments, questions etc below.
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About two-thirds of people over the age of 70 experience hearing loss. This condition is significantly associated with feelings of loneliness among older adults. Hearing loss can lead to difficulties in communication, which often results in social isolation. This isolation can then contribute to increased feelings of loneliness, as those with hearing loss may find it harder to engage in conversations and maintain social connections. These factors together can significantly impact the mental and emotional well-being of older adults. I am surprised you discuss how technology can help and yet leave out hearing technology.
To help, I believe we need to know when and how to make the connection. Technology can help. I agree with the needs. Aside from those with hearing difficulties, I also believe that those suffering from aphasia needs help as well. This is challenging. I look forward to hearing more on this subject.